


A Decade for A Night

by loser1419



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Jinri, M/M, Marriage, Smut, Vaguely Implied things, only light angst but my friend thinks otherwise so heavy angst, wannabe canon, yunhyeong is amazing he knows everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-21 19:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loser1419/pseuds/loser1419
Summary: "Right at this moment,I realized that dreams do come true.As we put the ring on our fingersAs we said our vows to each other,I closed my eyes as I kissed your lips,And I saw my lifetime with you."





	A Decade for A Night

**Author's Note:**

> this is set years later, when the boys finally settled down on their own. excuse my song writing skills im no hanbin. heavily inspired by that one fb confession post uwu

_(No matter how many times they made love, Junhoe will never get used to the indescribable emotions whenever he looked at Jinhwan below him, eyes closed and mouth never ceasing in calling for his name. There's something so reverent about the way their bare skins touched, or the way Jinhwan clung to him so close, arms thrown around his neck to keep him in place. Junhoe enjoyed nights like this the most, when they weren't in a rush to finish each other off, when the usual desperation and eagerness were replaced by overflowing passion and adoration, that sometimes kept Junhoe awake at night._  
  
_Junhoe knew that this night was special, so with every jerk and roll of his hips, he wanted to make sure that he's driving deep inside Jinhwan, marking his insides. Junhoe adapted a slow pace, hitting Jinhwan's prostrate dead on with every thrust, caressing his sides, face, chest, and everywhere his hand could touch. Jinhwan became a moaning mess underneath him, and it fascinated Junhoe how his eyes fluttered open whenever Junhoe aimed a particularly hard thrust. Jinhwan fascinated him in whatever he did, and on some nights when Junhoe's alone with only a bottle of whisky in his own apartment, the weight of his affection towards their eldest member scared him._  
  
_Junhoe has been loving Jinhwan for nearly a decade now, or maybe more than that if he'll count the years of him living in denial before, and it frightened him how his love never faded, but instead, grew stronger with every passing year._  
  
_Jinhwan finally opened his eyes, as he stared right through Junhoe's soul, his hand leaving the other's arm to smoothen out the crease in Junhoe's eyebrow. Jinhwan's eyes were a little  glassy but his smile was warm with a barely concealed tinged of sorrow, almost like he knew exactly what Junhoe was thinking. Like before, Jinhwan's smile comforted Junhoe a little, drizzled some water on the fire in his mind, effectively calming his thoughts even just for a little._  
  
_Jinhwan's hand travelled until it's on Junhoe's nape, and then he's gently pushing Junhoe's head down, lower and lower until their lips finally touched._  
  
_Junhoe should have gotten used to feeling Jinhwan's soft lips against him, but he still sighed when Jinhwan began to nip on his bottom lip. He'd kissed Jinhwan for more than a thousand times already, already familiar with every crooks and corners of the eldest's mouth, and yet Junhoe still felt himself melting with every drag of their lips against each other._  
  
_They broke the kiss after a while, but they didn't let each other get that far. Junhoe nuzzled his face on Jinhwan's neck, kissing the skin there, his hips still driving deep into Jinhwan, savoring Jinhwan's minute whines while it lasted._  
  
_Silence blanketed them, their laboured breaths and the sound of their skin making contact were the only thing that could be heard, until Jinhwan broke it with a groan._  
  
_"June-yah, I'm near," It's the only thing that Junhoe needed to hear to quicken his pace for a little, moving away so he could watch Jinhwan unravel underneath him. The latter's soft whines urged him more, as he wrapped his hand around Jinhwan's cock, stroking him insync with his thrust._  
  
_Jinhwan came with a cry of his name moments later, thick ropes of come landing on his belly, as Junhoe fucked him right through it, feeling his heart swell when Jinhwan sighs in content, removing his hands from where it's gripping on the bedsheet so he could lace it with Junhoe's instead._  
  
_Junhoe comes immediately after, Jinhwan's blissed out face and the way he tightened himself around him were enough to set him off. Junhoe collapsed on top of Jinhwan, barely supporting himself up, but still trying to, in fear of crushing the man below him. Jinhwan ran a hand on his hair, and Junhoe melted, more so after hearing him say those words that he didn't expect him to say._  
  
"I love you, Junhoe.")

 

 

 

 

Someone shouted and the crowd cheers. Junhoe who is impatiently waiting in front, immediately straightened his back once the applause started.

Junhoe nervously turns towards the entryway, and even though he already saw Jinhwan on the church earlier, he can't help but to still be in awe on how he looks tonight.  
  
The reception is held near Jinhwan's family house, a few meters away from the beach, an open space that was beautifully decorated with flowers and assorted of lights, lined up with a number of tables and chairs for the guests. The theme for today is black and red, courtesy of Jinhwan insisting that red should be used because according to him, he should still be sexy even on his wedding day. Everyone relented, though still skeptical about the choice of dark colors, but after looking at how the church and the reception were arranged, black and red isn't that bad of a choice. Donghyuk and Yunhyeong helped in decorating, piping out their suggestions here and there, which may also be the reason why the colors worked well.  
  
The place is a 15 minute ride from the church, and while they were waiting for them to get changed, Junhoe stayed with the rest of the members, for they prepared to perform a special song tonight, one that was personally written and composed by Junhoe himself.  
  
Junhoe turns his attention on Jinhwan, who already changed his formal attire, discarding his coat and tie for something much simpler and comfortable, but still managing to look dashing. Jinhwan is smiling to the guests, bowing repeatedly and shaking hands with some of them, and it's already dark, save for the artificial lights that illuminated the place but why does Jinhwan shines so much? There's a natural glow that comes with him as he walks slowly infront, and Junhoe just can't stop staring.  
  
Junhoe feels the tears pricking at the back of his eyelids, but he promised himself, and Jinhwan too, that he will never get emotional today. Junhoe blinks fast, tries to smile instead as Jinhwan comes nearer, swallows the lump on his throat, and Junhoe could barely hear the first notes of his own song as Donghyuk began to play it on the grand piano. His heartbeat is all that he could hear at the moment, everything feels like it's suddenly on slow motion, Jinhwan walking towards them, turning his head for the first time to finally look at them and right before their eyes met, Junhoe was pulled out of his trance when Yunhyeong nudged his side.  
  
The intro ended, and Junhoe is so lost in Jinhwan's beauty he forgot to enter on his cue. Thankfully, Yunhyeong sang it for him instead, and Junhoe diverts his eyes quickly to the side as he faces his members again, getting ready to enter on the next verse. The rest of the members are looking at him, but Junhoe assured them with a small smile.  
  
Junhoe's been singing for as long as he can remember but his hands feel clammy as he holds unto the microphone, waiting for Yunhyeong and Chanwoo to finish their lines. Perhaps, because this day is as important as his song, and he's so afraid of fucking this up. He was never this nervous, the last time being their first debut concert, but somehow, his heart can't stop on pounding loudly in his chest. It's the first time that he's letting anyone other than Jinhwan to listen on his song, and now, he's about to sing it in front of hundreds of people.  
  
He feels Yunhyeong squeeze his arm, and Junhoe may not say this out loud but he's forever grateful to him.  
  
_Do dreams come true?_  
_Or was it just only limited_  
_to people who are good?_  
_Am I allowed to dream too?_  
_Because If I could,_  
_I'd wish a lifetime with you._  
  
The first chorus went smoothly. Junhoe warmed up immediately after the first verse, letting his emotions flow freely as he sang his heart out. He close his eyes, and he's immediately reminded with flashes of his memories with Jinhwan. From their trainee days together, up until now, 15 years later. Jinhwan doesn't change that much, he's still their stubborn soft hearted hyung, their oldest member who would buy them things without any hesitation, and still the only one that could make Junhoe's heart flutter.  
  
The vocals' part ended, and then Hanbin and Bobby began to deliever their slow rap, giving off a fresh feeling on his song. Junhoe has been reluctant in adding any rap verse, but he did agree eventually. The rappers showed their lyrics to him not more than a day later, and after reading it, Junhoe was reminded that even though they are his silly hyungs, they are still the top song composers and rappers of the decade.  
  
When Junhoe opened his eyes to deliver the outro, his eyes seek out Jinhwan's, who is now sitting in front, watching them with an unreadable look on his face. Junhoe strays his eyes away, because if he didn't, he's afraid he won't be able to finish the song. His eyes settles lower, as he looks on Jinhwan's arm instead, ignoring the pang on his heart when he saw a more feminine arm interlinked with Jinhwan's.  
  
Specifically Jinri's arm, Jinhwan's fiancee, and now, his wife starting from today.  
  
_You must not cry_ , he told himself as he readies himself for his part. "Today is an important day for everyone. _You will not cry."_  
  
_Right at this moment_  
_I realized that dreams do come true_  
_As we put the ring on our fingers_  
_As we said our vows to each other,_  
_I closed my eyes as I kissed your lips_  
_And I saw my lifetime with you_  
  
Junhoe's voice cracks a little towards the end, choked up with all the emotions he's been trying to supressed ever since the wedding ceremony earlier. Right after the song ended, the crowd went silent for a little while, and Junhoe is almost afraid that they noticed that he's more hurt than a normal best man should allow himself to feel.  
  
Thankfully it doesn't last too long, before they erupted in cheers, awestruck by his heartfelt singing. Junhoe feels the heartbreak strikes him in powerful waves, feels his eyes blur from the tears he's held for so long, cracks a painful smile as the people congratulated him for a job well done, and then they're chanting for the newlywed to kiss. Junhoe doesn't have to look at them to know that the pair granted the crowd's wish, brushing away the stray tear that escaped on his eye as he excused himself amidst the joyous crowd, before anyone could notice him crying.  
  
Junhoe sang his self composed song on Jinhwan's wedding day, the song he once told Jinhwan that he'll sing to him when they get married.  
  
Junhoe belatedly realized that he should've probably asked about Jinhwan's dream before getting ahead with his own. At least, if he knew that Jinhwan only has his parents' dream for him in mind, then Junhoe would probably try to love him a little less. He would probably try to forget his feelings for him back then when he only has his one foot dipped into the water. Now that he has his entire body soaked, feels it almost drowning him in sometimes, Junhoe doesn't have any clue on how to pull himself back up again.  
  
Junhoe fell too hard for Jinhwan, but despite the heartbreak and every pain that comes with loving him, Junhoe wouldn't trade the precious memories they both created for anything.

  
  
Junhoe turned his phone off as he walked towards the beach, sitting down on the sand and leaning his back on the huge stone where they both liked to frequent whenever Junhoe would come with Jinhwan to visit his parents.  
  
That's where Yunhyeong found him half an hour later, drowning in his own tears and painful memories, letting himself be hugged and consoled as he sobbed on the elder's chest.  
  
Junhoe lost every chance to be with Jinhwan today. He lost the one that he sworn to love for a very long time, because apparently, a decade of loving Jinhwan is nothing much compared to the lifetime that he has now with his wife.

 

 

 

 

( _Junhoe was dressed back on his clothes, as he sat himself on the edge of the bed while he looked solemnly at Jinhwan. Jinhwan's still naked under the covers, still has that afterglow from sex, and Junhoe stared and stared, until he's sure that the image was imprinted at the back of his mind now, drinking every little details because this will be the last._

 _After this night, he won't be seeing Jinhwan in this state again._  
  
_"Can I ask for a small favour from you, hyung? For tomorrow?"_  
  
_"What is it?"_  
  
_"Never look at me, no matter how much I stared at you." Junhoe absentmindedly played with the familiar ring on his finger, the one that he's been wearing for years, and Jinhwan's gift for him on their fifth anniversary. Jinhwan has an identical one and he used it as a pendant on his necklace, but ever since they began to prepare for his wedding, Junhoe never saw it on his neck again._  
  
_Junhoe wondered if he should stop wearing his ring too._  
  
_"Why?"_  
  
_"I'm afraid that If you did, I'll lose control of myself. I'll whisk you away from that place, away from everyone, and Mr. Kim wouldn't be too glad of a runaway groom right?" Junhoe said as he cracked a forced smile. He dropped it the instant Jinhwan frowned deeper, as his lips trembled, his effort in lighting up the mood failing terribly._  
  
_Silent tears rolled down on Jinhwan's still flushed face, and helplessly inlove Junhoe immediately has his walls broken down again._  
  
_He crawled until he's sitting beside Jinhwan, before pulling the elder into a hug. Jinhwan encircled his arms around his torso almost immediately, muffling his cries against Junhoe's shirt._  
  
_They stayed like that for a while, until Jinhwan's sobs turned into sniffles. It's kinda funny how Jinhwan was the one who will leave him eventually, will be wedded tomorrow to someone that isn't him, and yet Junhoe was the one who was consoling him._  
  
_"I love you, Junhoe." Jinhwan whispers, voice raspy and smaller than he's ever heard him._  
  
_"Then don't marry her." Junhoe said, and even though he already knew the answer, he still can't help himself but to ask, hoping that Jinhwan will give him the answer that he was hoping for._  
  
_When Jinhwan didn't reply, Junhoe felt his heart drop lower, crushed and stomped on by a thousand elephants, left bleeding and broken to pieces on the ground._  
  
_It hurts so much it's killing him._  
  
_Junhoe steadies his hold on Jinhwan's shoulder, kept his distance between them to meet the elder's broken gaze._  
  
_"I love you too, even though I wished that we don't." He starts, grimacing a little when his voice faltered because it physically pained him to say this. Jinhwan looked like he's about to cry again, and frankly, Junhoe was so close to it too._  
  
_Junhoe removed Jinhwan's hand around his arm as he finally stood up, ppressin one last kiss on Jinhwan's lips before walking towards the door without looking back again._  
  
_"I love you so much," Junhoe whispered, halfway through opening the door, "but people don't always get to spend their life with someone they love, do they?"_  
  
_He closed the door behind him, not waiting for Jinhwan's reply. Junhoe finally let his tears fall, as he finally allowed himself to break._  
  
A decade with Jinhwan, was put on an end for a single night.)


End file.
